A Remembrance: 20th Anniversary of Gay Marriage

In November 2003, we heard the announcement from the Massachusetts Supreme Court. Marriage was to be legalized for same-sex couples due to judicial decree on the Freedom to Marry Act. We had no idea this was about to happen! We, along with many others, held our breath until that judicial judgment became law in May 2004.

17 May 2004. This is the first day we can legally register to marry. My memory starts with "the party." Cambridge opens at midnight (12 a.m.) on the day same-sex is officially legalized. There is a huge, festive gathering in Cambridge to celebrate, register, and marry couples—all at once! Chelsea and I, as a mature couple with a toddler to care for, stayed home and watched this celebration on TV.

We showed up at Boston City Hall the next morning. The line was long, and the party was absent. Couples were waiting to do what could not be done so many years before --when our love was new and we were at the peak of our idealistic, romantic zeal. Instead, this was a long line of relationship commitment. I will never forget the women behind us carrying a lawn chair through the line because they were pregnant with twins. The common denominators that day were kids, mortgages, and aging parents.

And this is where things got special. Suddenly, out of City Hall came the Mayor Thomas Menino and the President of the Boston City Council, Maura Hennigan. These civic leaders went down the line of marriage registrants and greeted each one of us personally. Mayor Menino did have a special charm when it came to the children of the city. He greeted our 24-month-old son that day with warmth, and you could sense that the Mayor and City Council President were truly happy for this moment. To this day, Mayor Menino and Councilor Hennigan are the surrogate parents of the brides, grooms and our LGBTQ+ families. We were doing the right thing, and we were supported regardless of the support we had within our own families of origin.

We then entered the Register of Marriages office for the City of Boston. If one often feels that City Hall (in all its Brutalist glory) is cold and dreary, it was not on that day. Every employee in Boston City Hall was at their best, welcoming us and making us feel truly special. If the Mayor and City Councilor were the parents, then the Registry were our first cousins. It was not awkward; it was joyous and accepting. It's not the norm for the gay community to be welcomed in such a manner by city officials. Somehow, that day was the bridge that got us to where we are today - true acceptance in schools, offices, and homes.

And one final memory from that day -- not the actual day of our marriage on the 8th of June, but of our registration to marry in May. When we walked out of City Hall with our two-year-old son and the official certificate to marry - we saw in the distance a group of our Boston neighbors, who had come down to City Hall not to register themselves but to protect us. There were, of course, neighbors (I think from outside the city) who disagreed with same-sex marriage and any public acknowledgement of our love and, , existence. Because of these brave and caring LGBTQ+ allies and friends, we did not have to face disapproval and, for some, an expression of their hate. We walked into a City Hall Plaza that accepted us, our son, and our soon-to-be marriage - we walked out surrounded by love and protected from hate.

For this, we will be forever grateful and proud to be part of history on that day.